Coming Out Letter
NOVEMBER 29th, 2016
Dear Aunt Aisha,
First, I want to thank you for bringing me into your home and raising me as your own after the tragic death of my parents 11 years ago. You have been more than a mother to me over the years and I hope what I am about to say will not complicate things between us. I want us to remain as close as we have been throughout my life and I am praying that your view of me does not change after reading this letter.
Aunt Aisha, I am Gay! I hope that this does not come as a shock to you as it did me. Please do not beat your head in as to how or why I am this way. You have to remember that this is not your fault; it is nobody’s fault. You raised me the best way you knew how and my sexual orientation does not reflect poorly on your incredible parenting skills.
After much thought and recollection over the past few months, I now realize that I have always been gay but it had not occurred to me that how I feel towards other men had a name. I think I first realized I was different when I was about 10 or 11, when all the confusing feelings about other boys started occurring. I had developed feelings for a few boys over the years and I could not tell them because I was scared of how they may react. It broke my heart each time a boy I liked would come and tell me about a crush he had on girls in school.
I have tried so hard to suppress these feelings and become more interested in females, but I only become more depressed as I grow older. It really hit me that I was depressed when I started having suicidal thoughts at age 15. I did not want to go down that path because suicide is a grave sin in our religion but so is homosexuality. I prayed to Allah so many times to make my ‘unnatural’ feelings go away but they never did. For so long, I have felt trapped because our religion condemns homosexuality but my urges seemingly grow stronger every day. I cannot live in this endless torture anymore, and that is why I am writing this letter to help you understand how I feel.
I reached my breaking point last month and I could not keep my feelings to myself anymore. I came out to my closest friend Ali, and it was the most humbling experience in my life. All the fear of judgment and persecution dissipated when he hugged me in acceptance after I had come out to him. He told me he had always had his suspicions and was just giving me time to be honest with myself first. His reaction gave me the confidence to find a way of coming out to you, my dear aunt.
Aunt Aisha, I have come to the realization that I deserve to be happy just as much as anybody else and I believe my happiness stems from not keeping this big part of myself a secret anymore. I want to love someone I choose and be loved in the same measure. You are the most important person in my life and nothing will ever change that, not even your reaction to this news. I could not continue hiding this part of me from you because I would be living a lie and denying us the opportunity to grow in our relationship. However, I believe the love you have for me cannot be shaken and I have the utmost confidence that you will accept me as I am just as Ali has done. I am prepared to discuss this matter further if you are willing to do the same and maybe we can come to a mutual understanding about my sexual orientation.
Aunt Aisha, I will love you until the end of time.
Your beloved son,