Types of Relationships
Research into love has demonstrated that the state of being in love differs from one individual to another. Love comes in different forms and styles as identified by John Alan Lee in 1973 in his book, Colors of Love. The author identified six colors of love that correspond to the feelings and actions that people demonstrate in their different interpersonal relationships. These colors include Eros, Ludos, storge, pragma, mania, and agape colors. Each color represents different levels of love that individuals feel towards their partners in their respective relationships. For instance, most teenagers demonstrate the mania or violet type of love when they first experience feelings for the opposite sex.
For this assignment, I will analyze my friendship with my best friend. According to the theory of love styles mentioned above, I would classify the love between my best friend and me as storge. With this type of love style, people usually experience love as a slow and gradual process that may take years to develop into romantic love. With this type of love, getting to know the other individual comes first before any intense feelings between the individuals begin to develop. Storge or yellow often develops out of friendship and is usually based on similar interests rather than a passion for one another.
Storge love also referred to as familial love is the natural affection that people tend to feel towards siblings, parents, relatives, close friends, and colleagues. In most contemporary cultures, storge love can be the base for the development of passionate love or Eros. However, it is important to note that storge love can only lead to romantic love when the people involved are willing to stay in a long-term relationship that is also monogamous.
Storge love can also be interpreted as the sexual relationship that developed between two individuals after gradually getting to know each other over a long period. In other words, a sexual relationship that developed from a friendship. Many storgic lovers usually have a hard time pinpointing the exact moment that their friendship turned into love. Even if the romantic relationship does not become fruitful, most storgic lovers remain friends unlike in other relationships.
The main purpose of storgic lovers is to reproduce and remain together in marriage. These are the legitimate goals of storgic relationships. Storgic lovers usually place a lot of emphasis on commitment and fidelity. They view fidelity as the only way that trust can be maintained in the relationship. Passionate sexual intensity is not viewed as important in storgic romantic relationships as it is in other forms of love styles.
In most cultures, storgic love is the ultimate goal for the individuals. Different traditional cultures across the globe believe that love between two people should develop from a gradual love. Even in traditional settings where marriages were arranged, people were expected to develop storgic love ad remain faithful to one another for the rest of their lives. The ultimate goal of relationships was to have children and to establish a long-term partnership. Divorce and infidelity are rare occurrences in such traditional storgic love settings.
However, contemporary Western culture emphasize on the Eros and Ludos type of loves. Romance and conquest are seen as the most attractive aspects of love and infidelity is usually witnessed in such relationships. The ultimate goal of these types of love is sexual fulfillment and intimacy between the partners, which may be eroded after an extended period together. Western culture views storgic love as very difficult to attain and time consuming. Most Westerners fantasize about love at first sight and finding sexual fulfillment in one or more relationships. It is very difficult to find storgic relationships in the Western world as a result.